Inmate probing
by Dsman
Summary: Don't worry it's just an Arkham Doctor asking questions. Harley lies about her bruises claiming it was fight with Batman but all the other inmates know that's not all true.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Batman.**

* * *

Batman emerged from from the warehouse carrying the Joker who most likely had his hands broken which the GCPD would accept as police brutality but since it was the Joker no one would care. Batman set him down in front of Commissioner Gorden then he turned and headed back into the warehouse. Several men and Detective Harvey Bullock went in after him to retrieve Harley Quinn and the goons while the rest kept their guns aimed at Joker.

"Oh Jimmy boy you taking me to Arkham my home away from home!" laughed the Joker.

"Shut up!" yelled a new recruit.

"I'm going to kill you first!" laughed the joker.

"I said shut up!" yelled the recruit.

"I'm going to rip out your tongue roll it around in my laughing gas then shove it up your ass I want to see how long it takes!" giggled the Joker.

"The new recruit paled then backed away. Joker started laughing.

"New record Jim old boy he lasted longer then most, you know what I promise never to kill you" laughed the Joker.

"Please be quite Joker!" sighed Gorden.

The Joker stopped talking as Bullock and the men returned with Harley and the goons. Harley looked like she had been ran over by a car, while her men had broken jaws and broken arms. They gathered up all the criminals and loaded them up. No one had seen Batman leave and they were ok with it.

"What happened to Quinn?" asked the new recruit.

"Joker happened" said a female cop.

"No I mean how did she get all beat up like that?" asked the new recruit.

"Like I said Joker happened" said the female cop.

 **A few days later. Arkham Ayslum.**

Harley Quinn was led shackled and at gun point to the new therapists office. The lady's name was Violet Rora. She was a thick native American women. Harley was placed in a chair then strapped to it. The guards then left to wait outside the door.

"Hello Harley I'm Doctor Rora (roar aa) it is nice to finally meet you" said Dr. Rora.

"Can I go now?" asked Harley.

"No you just got here" said Dr. Rora

"Aw man!" moaned Harley.

"I would like to know how you got your bruises" said Dr. Rora.

Harley reached for her left eye which intrigued Dr. Rora as she had been talking about her right eye. She also noticed that Harley was unconsciously doing.

"Oh you know just a small tussle with the B man" said Harley playing it off.

"The B man?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Bats?, The flying Pig?, Batsy?, Mr. Frowny face?, Mr. Tall, dark and spooky?" asked Harley.

"Sorry no clue" said Dr. Rora.

"Really! I'm talking about Batman, oh for Pete's sack!" said Harley.

"Hm so your saying Batman broke your wrist, gave you a black eye, fractured your pelvis, dislocated your shoulder, is the causes of you 32 cuts and bruises and the 2 fractured ribs?" and Dr. Rora.

"Oh it's just a love tap!" said Harley.

"Really a love tap" stated Dr. Rora.

"Yeah Bats don't play nice" said Harley.

"Has Batman ever taken you against your will?" asked Dr. Rora.

"All the time I never want to end up in Arkham" said Harley.

"No I mean has he ever had his way with you?" asked Dr. Rora.

"What?" asked Harley confused.

"Has Batman Ever Raped You!, forced you to have sex with him!" demanded Dr. Rora.

"No!, Why would ask that! everyone knows Batman is Cat's territory oh and that Bimbo Talia's" said Harley.

"So Batman has never even suggested your freedom for sex?" asked Dr. Rora.

"No! Jeez your thick headed, Bats ain't that kind of man if he even is one, Bat's see the world in two ways, the innocent and the guilty, croc is innocent, Red is guilty" said Harley.

"Who are Croc and Red?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Red is Ivy you know Poison Ivy, and Croc are you for real?, Croc is Killer Croc or as he prefers Waylon Jones with a major ichthyosis condition, yes I used a big words I was a doctor to Doc!" said Harley.

"...em Why do you say Killer Croc is good?" asked Dr. Rora.

"I don't know, you need to ask Crocky cause that's between him the B man" said Harley.

"Who is this Talia women you dislike so much?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Batman's baby mommy" said Harley.

"Excuse me!" said Dr. Rora.'

"What?" asked Harley.

"Are you saying Batman has had a child with a villein?" asked Dr. Rora.

"No she's not a villain, she's a thousand year old or so eco terrorist who trained to be an assassin" said Harley.

Dr. Rora mouth dropped as Harley had said that without laughing or cracking smile.

"Ya ya your serious?" asked Dr. Rora.

Harley looked around the room confused.

"Yeah?" said Harley

"And Batman has a child with her?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Yes" said Harley.

"So why do you think Catwomen deserves him?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Because Batman is always driven mad by her, she always gets away" said Harley.

"Interesting, well it looks like our session is done for the day" said Dr. Rora.

"Already that was fast!" said Harley.

The guards came in and escorted Harley out. Dr. Rora stopped another guard to ask a question or two.

"Could you ask the Warden for me why Batman or Catwomen are not locked up in here as well?" asked Dr. Rora.

"That's a stupid ass question lady but sure" Said the guard.

"Excuse me!" said Dr. Rora.

"Just saying, it's like asking if Superman's from another planet" said the guard.

"Do you honestly believe that?" demanded Dr. Rora.

"Just like I believe Wonder Women is the Goddess of War" said the guard.

"What ever just go get me those answers!" said Dr. Rora.


	2. Chapter 2 Ivy

**Disclaimer I do not own Batman.**

* * *

Dr. Rora was sitting at her desk when Poison Ivy aka Pamela Lillian Isley was brought in by female guards. Ivy did not seam happy to be there then again she never seemed happy. Ivy was forced into a metal seat with her arms and feet cuffed to the seat. A female guard then aimed a gun at the back of Ivy's head.

"What are you doing?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Taking precautions" said the female guard.

"I'm a women and I prefer men so I'm pretty sure I'm safe so long as I don't kiss her" said Dr. Rora.

"Sorry ma'am but she has powers" said the guard.

"Yes but the one plant I have in here is completely fake" said Dr. Rora in a deadpan voice.

"So wait outside?" asked the guard.

"Yes" said Dr. Rora.

They watched as the guard left. Dr. Rora made sure the door was completely then sat down. She opened a file on her computer.

"This is interesting, it says here you are a narcissists, you have nymphomania, bipolar disorder, and a mystical connection to something called the Green?, so what do you think?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Well I know for a fact Batman wrote those last two himself but who wrote the first two?" asked Ivy.

"Wait Batman wrote these...he believes in magic?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Of course, he has no idea how to wield as it's beyond him and he knows this" said Ivy.

"So your not narcissistic or a nymphomaniac?" asked Dr. Rora.

"If I was a narcissist I would not always be nursing Harley back to full health, if I was a nymphomaniac I would be trying to fuck everyone in this place if anything I'm bisexual with an active but not unpleasant libido" said Ivy.

"So you nurse Harley back to full heath a lot?" asked Dr. Rora.

"I don't know why, she just goes running back to _him!"_ said Ivy.

Dr. Rora noticed Ivy had said him with some disdain. It made her curios as some of the other inmate simply referred to Batman as him. She wonder again why Batman was not locked up in here as well.

"So she has feeling for him then?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Of course she is, she's in love with him why do you think she dresses like that and went crazy?" said Ivy.

"She's in love with Batman it's worse then I thought!" said Dr. Rora.

"What?" asked Ivy completely confused.

"Your not talking about Batman are you?" asked Dr. Rora.

"No!" said Ivy.

"Oh!, then who are you talking about?" asked Dr. Rora.

"The Joker!" said Ivy glaring at Dr. Rora.

"Oh right" said Dr. Rora.

"Why would Harley be in love with Bats?" asked Ivy.

"My bad I was under the impression that since Harley was badly beaten it was because Batman tried to rape her" said Dr. Rora.

"He would never do that, He's like her scary older brother and she's the goofy little sister, he glares at her and she puts the cuffs on herself" said Ivy.

"Interesting, so he's not responsible for her current injury's?" asked Dr. Rora.

"How bad?" asked Ivy.

"She has a broken wrist, a black eye, fractured pelvis, dislocated shoulder, 32 cuts and bruises and the 2 fractured ribs?" said Dr. Rora.

"Um the broken wrist could be Batman but he wouldn't need to unless she had a weapon and the fractured ribs mostly likely him as well he might have kicked her, but the rest is all Joker" explained Ivy.

"I thought Batman was responsible for all that damage, Harley never said the Joker did it, she claimed they were love taps" said Dr. Rora.

"Harley has battered wife syndrome, she'll do anything to protect her _pudden"_ hissed Ivy.

"So has Batman ever raped you or solicited you in anyway?" asked Dr. Rora trying to change the subject.

"Nice try, Batman never done that as much as I would like him to" said Ivy.

"Excuse me!" asked Dr. Rora.

"I meant consenting of course" said Ivy.

"Why would you want to have sex with Batman?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Have you ever met him!, he's smart, mysterious, muscular, and dark, plus from what I hear about from Cat and Talia oh boy!" said Ivy.

"I thought you hated people?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Oh I do but Batman is far from human" said Ivy.

"What do you mean?" asked Dr. Rora.

"What myths have you heard about Batman?" asked Ivy.

"Um that he can turn into mist, take on the form of a bat, has a large member, carries shark repellent, can walk through walls, can turn invisible" said Dr. Rora.

"He can not turn into mist, he cannot take on bat form, he does not have a large member but he knows how to use it from what I hear, He does in fact carry shark repellent, as for the last two he might actually be able to do those" said Ivy.

"Now who is Talia, Harley simply called her a whore and Batman's baby mamma" said Dr. Rora.

"The daughter of a near immortal man who I would gladly partner with as he tries to protect nature by killing of man or a good portion anyway" said Ivy.

"Why on earth is that even a good idea?" asked Dr. Rora.

"You realize you just asked a certified crazy person if something was a good idea or not right?" asked Ivy.

"Oh right duh, now what do you mean by near immortal?" asked Dr. Rora.

"I don't understand the whole thing behind it, but I do know the basic's, Batman kills him, he dies, his body vanishes mysteriously and a few weeks later they do it all over again" said Ivy.

"Wait Batman can kill this man but not the Joker why?" asked Dr. Rora.

"No idea but I don't think the kills are on purpose, as for the Joker Batman just has restraint unlike the rest of us who have tried" said Ivy.

"Have you tried?" asked Dr. Rora.

"Of course I even altered Harley's DNA to make her immune to toxins which include Joker gas" said Ivy.

"I heard that was some nasty stuff, I was in the Subway last year when Joker unleashed it" said Dr. Rora.

"Wait then how are you alive?" asked Ivy.

"Turns out I have a rare genetic anomaly that makes me immune to Joker gas" said Dr. Rora.

"Now that's interesting, did Batman ever try to take a sample of your blood?" asked Ivy.

"He tried and so did Bruce Wayne but I wouldn't give it to them" said Dr. Rora.

"Oh boy the double team, your blood must be very valuable to them" said Ivy.

"Stop, we are supposed to talk about you not me, I'm going to end our session early" said Dr. Rora.


End file.
